It might sound contradictory to say talk less to become a better communicator — but that’s exactly what effective leaders and coaches do. The secret? Listening and questioning well enough that others reveal the real issues, insights, and ideas themselves. At OptimizeU Partners, we use the LACES Framework to help teams and boards elevate how they communicate, connect, and make decisions. Here’s how it works.
LACES stands for: Listen • Acknowledge • Clarify • Explore • Support
Each stage helps you shift from telling to inquiring, from directing to developing — and from speaking to truly connecting.
Before you contribute, be present. Eliminate distractions. Make eye contact. Listen for meaning — not just words. Notice tone, pace, and what’s not being said. Pause before responding. Give space for reflection. And perhaps most importantly: stay curious, not judgmental.
Listening is not waiting for your turn to speak. It’s making the other person feel heard.
People open up when they feel understood. Simple acknowledgments — verbal or nonverbal — go a long way.
Say things like:
“I hear you.”
“That makes sense.”
“You bring up something important.”
“I appreciate your perspective.”
Affirming, appreciating, and reflecting their message shows respect and builds trust. Acknowledgment doesn’t mean agreement — it means connection.
Once people feel heard, ensure you understand what they truly mean.
Try:
“So if I’m hearing you right, you’re saying… Is that correct?”
“Can you share an example so I can picture it?”
“Are you thinking of this in terms of [Option A] or [Option B]?”
Clarity prevents confusion and keeps discussions anchored to shared intent.
This is where the magic happens. Exploring opens up deeper understanding, uncovers blind spots, and reveals new possibilities.
Ask bold, strategic questions like:
“What problem are we really solving — and for whom?”
“What assumptions are we making?”
“If we were 10x bolder, what would we try?”
“Who must be successful for this to work?”
“What would we not want to read about this decision a year from now?”
Exploration transforms meetings from information dumps into discovery sessions. And before offering advice, ask permission:
“Would it help if I shared a perspective?”
“Could I offer a thought from my experience?”
That small act keeps the conversation collaborative, not corrective.
End conversations with partnership and positivity.
Try saying:
“How can I help?”
“You’re making smart progress.”
“It’s okay not to have all the answers.”
“Congrats on your momentum — keep going.”
Support turns insight into sustained action.
Let’s be honest — most leaders are frustrated with others at times. We see what could be better, clearer, faster, or smarter. As subject matter experts, we can get so focused on our own next level of growth and understanding that we forget to meet people where they are.
That’s where questions become the bridge.
But not all questions are equal. Some are traps — designed to confirm our own assumptions or reveal what others don’t know. Those are evaluative or leading questions, asked more for validation than for connection.
Then there are the other kind — the questions rooted in genuine curiosity. These are asked not to prove what we know, but to understand what others see. Not to interrogate, but to integrate. Not for the self alone, but for the shared purpose of learning, aligning, and advancing together.
That’s where questions become the unifying force of real communication.
Most of us fall into what Michael Bungay Stanier (author of The Coaching Habit) calls the “Advice Monster” — jumping to fix or tell instead of listening and exploring. But when we follow LACES, something shifts: we lead with curiosity, we strengthen relationships, and we empower others to think, decide, and grow.
The best communicators talk less — and ask better questions. They know that silence, curiosity, and acknowledgment often speak louder than words.
When was the last time you talked less and connected more? Which part of the LACES Framework stretches you most right now? And what might change — in your conversations, your influence, and your relationships — if you improved in that area? How might it help you and those around you — the colleagues, clients, and stakeholders who matter most?
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